It’s not easy to be an introvert. Especially in a world that thinks it’s not cool to be an introvert. The universe often makes you believe that extroversion is the norm. In fact, it advises you not to be an introvert. It even makes you feel guilty about being one, and tells you to speak up and speak out all the time. Clearly, they don’t realise that millions of people are introverts not because they have chosen to be that way; it’s because that’s the way they are, and they can do little about it.
An interesting thing about introverts is that they are everywhere, but often go unnoticed. Like they don’t exist. Very few of us bother to understand them.
For example, many of us wrongly assume that introverts are averse to social interactions because they don’t like people in general. Some even think that introverts are “boring”. And the sad part is that those who talk a lot rarely choose to talk about introverts except when they want to reprimand them for not being “social” and “friendly”.
Here is an attempt to understand introverts and get acquainted with the mental struggles they go through in their day-to-day lives. Suffice to say that by the time you finish reading this, you will know it’s definitely not easy to be an introvert.
1. They think they don’t matter
It’s true introverts talk only when they are spoken to. Nothing out of the world about it, right? After all, it’s not a crime to be a quiet person. It’s just that introverts usually don’t talk much, especially about themselves. And that’s because sometimes they don’t know what to say, other times they don’t have anything to talk, and then there are times when they just don’t have the energy to speak. They also wish people were a little more patient with them and would take some time to get to know them. But when people don’t, introverts start believing they don’t matter.
So, if you meet someone who does not talk much, it’s not because they hate you. It’s possible they have nothing to add to the conversation, but that does not mean they are not enjoying it. They are and they would be willing to give their viewpoints when they can.
2. Nobody misses them
Just because introverts appear standoffish does not mean they are asocial. You will be surprised to know that sometimes they want to be friendly and social. And they try as well when they meet a group of new people. They try their best to leave a good impression and appear chatty. But inside of 5-10 minutes, they lose people’s attention. People don’t even notice when they disappear. They’re not missed. Why? Because small talk isn’t their best suit; beyond a point, they can’t think of anything funny to say, or they don’t have anything substantial to add. Do you want to know what happens after they become invisible for others? They beat themselves up, feeling they are uninteresting and lack charisma. And this cycle is repeated time and again till they decide enough is enough, they can’t be socially accepted despite putting their best foot forward. The next step: they clam up.
3. Introvert feels lonelier in a crowd
All introverts will relate to this. They enter a room full of people and suddenly start feeling lonelier than they did when they were alone at home buried in a book. Feeling a sense of isolation, they usually hide themselves in a corner, without realising they are subconsciously telling the world that they do not want to talk, while all they want is the opposite: they want to have a conversation, but a deep conversation. But all they get is small talk, and they suck at that.
The point is that they don’t understand — or rather can’t understand — two things: one, people don’t want to have a deep conversation all the time; and second, not everyone is not capable of having it.
4. They want to sound perfect
One of the reasons introverts do not speak very often is because they strongly believe deep down that whatever they say should be “flawless”, “appropriate” and, of course, “profound”. They weigh their words multiple times. In fact, the pressure to sound perfect is so high that they lose the opportunity to speak. And later, they have a conversation in their heads in which they speak “impeccably”. Sadly, there are no listeners then; it’s just them secretly and silently listening to their “flawless” speech, and preening themselves on having articulated it with “superb clarity”.
5. Exhausted among unknown people
When they are required to spend a significant amount of time with a large number of new faces, they get exhausted. The pressure to keep on the conversation is high, which forces them to come out of their comfort zone. They attempt at keeping the chatter going, but realise sooner than later that it is not possible for them. Can you guess what they wish to do next? They just want to run away and avoid such situations in the future.
Also, they start wondering why such social situations are so much more draining and enervating for them than they are for other people. Subsequently, the feeling of self-doubt creeps in and introverts start wishing they were more outgoing and energetic. And you know what, they secretly wish they were extroverts.
6. They don’t get bored alone
“Don’t you get bored sitting alone?” This sentence does not make sense to introverts. They do not understand this. And that’s because they don’t get bored alone. In fact, when a question like that is posed to them, they wonder what on earth is being talked about here. You may be surprised to know that they actually enjoy their time alone. They relish it. For them, it’s a relief not to talk, not to be under pressure to keep the conversation going and not feeling worried about social commitments. Very few people irritate them as much as those who talk infinitely and immeasurably.
INTROVERSION & HANDWRITING
Introvert is a term introduced by psychologist Carl Jung to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed inward. Introverts tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimise their contact with other people. Introverts are tuned inwards, while extroverts are tuned outwards. An extrovert gets his energy from outside sources, while an introvert feels more energised by spending quiet time alone.
There are three key indicators in handwriting, which point to the writer’s introversion. (To learn Handwriting Analysis in detail, click here)
1. Small handwriting
The smaller the writing, the more introverted the writer is. The small size indicates that the writer is more into his own thoughts and feelings, rather than those of others. It also points to the writer’s desire to avoid attention.
2. Left Slant of Handwriting
Introverts invariably write with a leftward handwriting. The particular slant reveals that they do not believe in expressing their feelings. (Read more about people with left-slanted handwriting.)
3. Small signature
If the two handwriting elements mentioned above coincide with a small signature in someone’s handwriting, it clearly shows the writer’s tendency to not let others intrude into his private space. People with small signatures usually do not feel confident enough to put across their views.
Before you arrive at any conclusions about the personality of a person, make sure you take a look at the signature properly. Therefore, we recommend an earlier article on signature analysis, which also tells you what small signature says about someone’s personality.