Disappointment, we know, is the son of dissatisfaction that is born when expectations fail to manifest. We all experience disappointment: troubled marriage, poor job evaluation, death of loved ones, health issues, social and romantic snubs, husband’s or wife’s coldness in bed.
But the raison d’être of some disappointments is really silly. You don’t have to look too far. Take Mr Lundroo, for example. Recently, Lundroo was extremely disappointed with a period movie. You know why? Because he went to the theatre expecting a lot of bloodshed in the film. Nobody ever told him that period movies need not necessarily have bloodshed.
The point I’m making is that we don’t really need to have a “valid” reason to feel disappointed. Sometimes most of us behave like Lundroo. Depending on what our expectations are, just about anything can let us down. When we fail to fulfil our wishes and find ourselves staring at the buttock of our goals, disappointment sinks in, perhaps as smoothly and slickly as a pin would into our derrière if we happen to sit on it — wittingly or unwittingly.
Some people pluck out the pin, ignore the pain, shrug off the bad experience, forget the hurt and move on to meet new challenges and try their luck afresh. But many people just don’t know how to pull it out, for they lack the strength and determination for it. They don’t talk about their pain and choose to remain quiet, thinking that their silence would ultimately melt into serenity and peace. But it does not happen. The result: very soon, the piece of metal becomes carcinogenic and it begins to eat them up, slowly but steadily. Consequently, a simple disappointment turns into depression, which devours your appetite for almost all kinds of pleasure.
Many people ask me if it is possible to find out through handwriting analysis whether is suffering from depression or not. The answer is an emphatic yes.
The presence of depression is immediately detected from certain factors in a handwriting sample. The first one is the overall direction of the baseline and the frequent rise and fall of words. Depression is usually accompanied by confusion and stress, shown by several strokes including variable size and shape of letters.
Before I tell you how to find depression in handwriting, permit me to tell you a small story. When I was learning handwriting analysis in Calcutta, I used to bank heavily on my friends and office colleagues whom I used to badger into giving me their handwriting samples for practice. And many did cooperate.
However, there was one friend who promised to give me her handwriting sample, but she never delivered. Interestingly, she did not even say she was not interested in getting her handwriting analysed. She just kept delaying, which was making me furious. In absence of a clear NO or a straight answer, my determination becomes like Samson (Radhas and Anuradhas in my life know that).
So at last, my determination and persistence assassinated her procrastination. One evening, she handed over to me one and a half pages of her handwriting sample on unlined paper. The moment I looked at it I discovered that the person behind the smiling face was like a frightened child with a traumatic childhood who believed nothing will work out for her. She felt cheated in her relationship because she had slept with her boyfriend who was now shamelessly exhibiting post-sex symptoms. Stalked by a feeling of sexual guilt coupled with the darkness that “engulfed” her future, she had become enormously depressed and was also contemplating suicide. Worse, she did not look beyond the relationship and refused to look at other options.
“What is this? You never told me anything. Relax, things will be alright…. Don’t worry,” I reassured her, trying to be as supportive as possible. I also gave her some graphotherapy exercises. She said she would practise them.
I left Calcutta soon after that. Six months later, I got to know she had gathered the courage to dump the scoundrel and was getting married to another person. I am not sure whether she completed the exercise or not. I am not much interested in knowing that. She is doing well and that is enough.
I can’t show you her handwriting, but I will surely tell you how I saw at once that she was depressed. The baseline (the imaginary straight line on which alphabets rest) of her handwriting was consistently going downhill. (See an imitation of her writing above). The other factor which complicated matters for her was the way she crossed her t-bars: they were really low on the stem (see in picture B given below).
People with low t-bars in their handwriting are shaken up by even small problems in life and tend to indulge in self-blame. They are often unable to leave the failures behind and believe that something wrong has happened to them because they “deserve” it. They keep on irrigating the land on which depression grows and thinking about suicide is very common for the depressed. If you feel this way, talk to somebody about it. If you think somebody else might be thinking this way, ask them about it. You might save a life — your own or someone else’s.
On the other hand, a person with high t-bars has a greater efficiency to fight and struggle to survive. Such a person possesses the strength to unload the baggage of the past. Likewise, if downhill baseline is indicative of depression and unhappiness, an uphill slant reflects utter optimism (see in picture C). Such writers always believe that things will for sure be better in future. And they are more successful too because they are always positive in their approach.
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