Biggest hit of Bollywood: Below Ranbir Kapoor’s belt

A woman is like a tea bag; you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Ranbir Kapoor must be wondering how hot the water was in which he put Sonam Kapoor and Deepika Padukone to make the two pretty actresses hit their ex-boyfriend below the belt on national television. On Koffee with Karan aired on November 21, they took the towel off him.

Sonam said Ranbir is unsexy, and that she had “seen it all” during the shooting of Saawariya when he dropped the towel for the infamous scene. She added that she wasn’t interested in him anymore. He has zero fashion sense, and he badly needed a stylist and that he is a terrible boyfriend and he can never stay faithful.

When Karan Johar asked Deepika what she’d like to give Ranbir Kapoor, she said: a box of condoms. Probably, she was referring to his over-active libido. When asked to rate his sex appeal, the former girlfriend put him last on her list. She also said that if she woke up as RK someday, she’d go back to sleep. She also took digs at him for cheating on her.

Some people said the two women went a little overboard. But that’s when I step in. I think women are necessary evils and they are meant to be loved, not understood.

So, I surfed the Internet and found Mr Ranbir Kapoor’s handwriting and signature. Here they are in front of you. Now, we will take one by one a few charges made by the two women and see whether they are true or not.

1) Ranbir is unfaithful and has cheated on them

There are two key indications in Ranbir’s handwriting to suggest that he has a tendency to stray. First, a very erratic and wavy baseline as we see in ‘always’. According to handwriting analysis, if the baseline is too wavy, it suggests that the writer finds it difficult to stay loyal to anything. The second indication is the difference in the sizes of the down strokes of letter ‘p’ (see the word ‘people’). The down stroke of the first ‘p’ is bigger than the other one in the same letter. It suggests that the writer has cheated on his partner/s in the past and may do the same in the future. In graphology, strokes below the baseline show the physical and sexual aspect of the writer. Hence, the size variance of the downstrokes becomes important here.

2) Ranbir is too obsessed with sex

Well, that is also true. For that, we will have to look at his signature carefully. Did you see anything? Ok, let me help you. Notice the capita ‘R’ in Ranbir. The top loop in R resembles a phallus. Phallic symbols occur rarely in handwriting. They mean that the writer is pre-occupied with sex. This attitude usually puts off women. This particular trait is corroborated by a small stroke inside letter ‘o’ in ‘Love’. Such small strokes inside ovals indicate that the writer mind revolves mostly around physical relationships.

3) Ranbir is an awful boyfriend

I can’t get into good or bad. I will present a few facts here. After that, you decide. First, Ranbir has a go-to-hell attitude, which is seen in the high buckle in letter ‘K’ in his signature. Such writers rarely take into account what others feel. They give a damn about others. Therefore, the particular ‘K’ is called go-to-hell K. Secondly, notice the little hook in at the end of letter ‘p’. Hooks in handwriting usually indicate resentment and anger. This one occurs in the lower zone — the relationship area. Therefore, his anger and resentment is usually directed at those with whom he is in a relationship. Thirdly, Ranbir has a really big ego, shown by his large signature. Combine it with the go-to-hell K and you have an impeccable bully in front of you.

You take a call whether you want to believe the pretty young women. But one thing is certain: it’s a big Bollywood hit — below the belt.

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