Yesterday morning, when I got an SMS from a friend, saying he had the signature of Congress Spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi, which I could analyse, I dismissed the idea immediately. “He is not that important,” I replied. Why would I analyse the handwriting of that lousy politician, I thought. Every time he speaks, especially on Arnab Goswami’s News Hour, it seems he has a few tamarind balls in his mouth and he is unable to handle their tanginess.
When I logged on to Twitter at office later in the day, I found the bald man trending. That’s when I understood why my friend sent me that SMS. A sex video allegedly featuring Congress leader Abhishek Manu Singhvi and a lawyer had gone viral on social media platforms and on the Internet. For a moment, I was shocked. Abhishek Manu Singhvi, who looks similar to the only brother of Mary, a virgin, in a sex video!
I watched the video. I saw a bald hunk in it. The man, said to be a member of the Parliamentary standing committee, caught on camera was a lousy lay. The guy goes to town in the funniest possible way, with tamarind-balls-in-mouth kind of expression.
Now, let’s turn our attention to his signature. First, his signature, like those of many politicians such as Sonia Gandhi, is illegible.
Illegible signature means the writer has a propensity to withhold facts. A scribbled signature shows that the writer is a hoity-toity rascal who tells others: “I don’t care whether you can read my handwriting or not. I am just too busy to be bothered by that. I have no time for you…” Such writers seldom take total responsibility for things in their lives.
The signature slant indicates that the writer makes some impulsive decisions. It’s combined with a careless scribble, which shows that the writer’s tendency to act on impulse is strong.
The third most noticeable aspect of his signature is the way his first few letters are crisscrossing each other. Overlapping of letters at the beginning of a signature shows the writer’s desire for proximity and friendship and a natural inclination to make hasty decisions without giving them adequate consideration. This also suggests that the writer is evasive. In fact, the degree of perfection in readability indicates the degree of true openness of the writer.
Letter ‘g’. in Singhvi is the only letter that is clear in the remaining part of the signature. The full formation of the letter shows that the writer is quite imaginative and very good with words. It also reflects the writer’s ability to be a terrific storyteller, and his healthy physical drive.
God! Did you guys read till the last line expecting that I would comment on Singhvi’s libido and sex drive? Buzz off!
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