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Like laziness, commitment phobia is not difficult to find around us. Very few people know that the term, which refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and\/or marriage, was coined in the popular self-help book, Men Who Can’t Love,<\/em> in 1987.<\/p>\n But Following criticisms of the perceived sexist idea that only men were commitment phobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitment phobia in a later work, He’s Scared, She’s Scared.<\/em><\/p>\n Commitment phobia is a great stumbling block as far as relationships are concerned. Being in a relationship with a commitment-phobic is similar to driving a vehicle in neutral. The relationship hardly moves forward.<\/p>\n Generally, commitment-phobic people say they want a lasting romantic attachment, but they fail.<\/p>\n Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitment-phobic partner seeks what he\/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical hunger creates a dreadful reality.<\/p>\n Commitment phobia is also known as a fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitment-phobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape.<\/p>\n This fear can make simple every day decisions into a tremendous burden. Often, commitment-phobics are prone to self-destructive\u00a0behaviour, such as walking out on partners without notice.<\/p>\n In fact, commitment-phobic\u00a0behaviour\u00a0includes “settling” for inappropriate partners, pursuing unattainable partners, and engaging in instant relationship mergers as well as fleeing from what might have appeared to be a stable romance.<\/p>\n Any persistent\u00a0behaviour\u00a0that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitment-phobic.<\/p>\n Bart Baggett, president of Handwriting University International, USA, says: \u201cYou may even be living together, but still you are missing that sense of initiation that comes with truly knowing that the person is committed to you with all his\/her heart and soul. When you try to bring the subject of taking your relationship to the next level, your partner behaves as if discussing a future with you is not that important.\u201d<\/p>\n These little strokes forward almost resemble “roadblocks” that give the writer time to pause and assess the situation before he or she makes a move.<\/p>\n Bart points out: \u201cIf your partner displays this trait, then there is a chance that he or she is probably just cautious in all aspects of her life and the hold-up may not be something personal to do with you.<\/p>\n The person may just need time to process and analyse their feelings than others. Usually, this is because they have been hurt before.\u201d<\/p>\nCommitment phobia in handwriting<\/h3>\n
One potentially misleading aspect of commitment-phobic behaviour is that the partner who is actively running away from commitment is not the only one with a problem.<\/p>\n
Caution or commitment phobia in handwriting is often represented as a long dash that streaks out from the end of a lower case a, e or c<\/a>.<\/p>\n