Are you really as cool as friends say you are? Your handwriting will tell you

See his handwriting. Notice the loops in t’s and d’s. These loops are indicative of extreme sensitivity. Such a person gets hurt easily. That’s what I mean by walking on eggshells. With a friend, partner or lover like him, you will always have to be very very very cautious about the words you use. Without risking a nice evening or an entire day, you cannot tell him that his opinion on certain things are wrong or the way he does things need improvement. Over every negative comment, he will get defensive and would enter into an argument. Use of even one careless word would hurt him badly. This carefulness would hack your spontaneity and even if you have something very important to tell him, you will not be sure whether you should because you don’t know how he would react. So, you will think it’s more sensible to dissemble your feelings. The situation won’t be that easy. If he gets to know you had hidden something, he will get mad at you, scream, shout… Because of his sensitivity, an interpersonal relationship cannot be possible without plenty of bruises. So, it’s really gonna be tricky. You will have to approve of every thing he does. If you don’t be ready to fight. Is that cool?

For me, a cool person (it’s not a definition, ok?) is someone with whom I don’t have to be too careful about what I say; I don’t need to dilute every word I use. A cool person is someone you can crack jokes with and even if you crack jokes on him, he should not feel bad. But if the person I am dealing with has a loopy writing (like Aamir’s), he may not protest immediately if you ridicule him, but he will get back at you later. Definitely. Mostly when you least expect it. A healthy relationship is when you can agree and disagree with your partner without compromising on your own individuality, opinion and stand.

Let me tell you a small story to illustrate the point. I have a friend whose height is about 5 feet. By normal standards, he can be called short and he was very conscious of his low height. Anyone who made him feel small about himself would fill him with utter resentment. Everyone in our friend circle knew that, but there was this funny girl who would just not stop messing with him. She used to call him teeny-weeny. My friend felt extremely bad. He never told her that, but he used to share his feelings with me. The girl was not a vicious person; she was a little bindaas, carefree and outspoken. I knew she did not want to demean him by calling him teeny-weeny. I told him not to take her comments so seriously. But he would retort, saying I was being callous because she never said anything to me.

Soon, that day came. At that time, I used to be lanky. So one day when both of us walked into a small restaurant where our gang of friends was meeting, she said in a rather loud voice: “Here come Mr Teeny-Weeny and his friend Mr Tall Tree.” I smiled and without wasting a moment shot back: “How about spending a night under me, birdie? You can stand there all night and if you like, we may choose to call it a one-night stand.” History is evident she never forgot my name after that.

Well, as far as I know, my retort did not emanate from any resentment. She said something, I said something. That’s it. I do not care what people think of the way I look. But my friend was very sensitive about his looks, which was reflected by the loops in his d’s. He would appear “cool” because he never protested. He never got into arguments. But though he seemed cool to others, he was like a furnace inside, burning himself every moment, waiting for the right time to hit back. That ain’t cool. No way.

By now, many people who are reading this would have realised they have loops in their d’s and t’s. Well, my attempt here is not to villify them. They can be great friends and I can vouch for it. But their desire for a stable and peaceful relationship is driven by their need for praise and approval. They are terribly hurt people. They are wounded by people around them. Their sensitivity is just a defence mechanism. If you have loops in the two letters, take them out. The removal will make you feel better like nothing else. It will make you stop being sensitive to negative comments.

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