Mystery Solved: Here’s Why Some Adults Feel They’re Not Good Enough

Mystery Solved: Here's Why Some Adults Feel They're Not Good Enough 1

For a person who is sensitive to criticism, any critical remark directed towards her work feels like a personal attack on her identity.

Sonia, a 28-year-old communications professional, seemed like any other successful young woman, good at navigating the ups and downs of her career. However, beneath her confident facade lay a vulnerability nobody knew about.

As she sat today in her office, heart pounding, hands shaking, she read through her supervisor’s negative feedback on her latest project. It was a regular feedback, but it had her knickers in a twist. Deep down, she felt it was more than just a negative feedback; it was an ‘indirect attack’ on her talent and capabilities.

The turmoil in the head wasn’t unfamiliar to Sonia; she had felt that way on several occasions in her school and college years as well. Despite her years of experience and expertise in her field, every criticism felt like a personal attack. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being judged not just on her work, but on who she was as a person. All signs pointing to her sensitivity to criticism.

A personal attack

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Individuals with a heightened sensitivity to criticism often struggle to separate constructive feedback from personal attacks on their worth and identity.

Sonia’s sensitivity to criticism was a manifestation of deeper-rooted traits ingrained in her personality. Like many others who share her disposition, Sonia’s sense of self-worth was intricately linked to her actions and achievements. She believed she was what she did, and any criticism directed towards her work felt like a personal attack on her identity.

This phenomenon is not unique to Sonia alone; it is characteristic of individuals who exhibit high levels of sensitivity. These individuals often internalize criticism, interpreting it as a reflection of their worth as human beings. This tendency stems from a deep-seated need for validation and approval, often cultivated during childhood.

Role of critical parents

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Psychologists have long recognised the detrimental impact of critical parenting on a child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.

In Sonia’s case, her upbringing played a significant role in shaping her sensitivity to criticism. Raised by excessively critical parents, she was constantly scrutinised and evaluated based on her performance. Every mistake was met with harsh reprimands, leaving her feeling inadequate and unworthy.

Psychologists have long recognized the detrimental impact of critical parenting on a child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. Studies have shown that children who grow up in environments characterised by constant criticism and high levels of parental expectations often develop deep-seated insecurities about their abilities and worth. These children internalise the belief that their value as individuals is contingent upon their achievements and performance, setting the stage for a lifetime of sensitivity to criticism.

Handwriting clues

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Presence of loops in the stem of letters ‘d’ and ‘t’ is often associated with a tendency to internalise criticism.

But what is it about highly sensitive individuals that make them prone to such reactions? According to handwriting analysis, certain features in a person’s handwriting can provide insights into their personality traits, including sensitivity to criticism. One such feature is the presence of loops in the stem of lowercase letters like ‘d’ and ‘t’.

In handwriting analysis, the presence of loops in these letters is often associated with a tendency to internalise criticism and a heightened sensitivity to external judgment. The bigger the loop, the more severe the sensitivity. The loops signify a propensity to ruminate over past mistakes and a deep-seated need for validation from others.

For individuals like Sonia, whose handwriting exhibits such features, criticism can feel like a dagger to the heart, triggering feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. Every critique serves as a confirmation of their deepest fears – that they are not good enough, that their worth is contingent on external validation.

Psychological needs

Understanding the underlying mechanisms behind sensitivity to criticism is crucial for both individuals and society as a whole. While it may be tempting to dismiss highly sensitive people as overly emotional or thin-skinned, their reactions stem from genuine psychological needs and vulnerabilities.

For Sonia, coming to terms with her sensitivity to criticism will be a journey fraught with challenges. It would require her to find a way a way to separate her identity from what she does. She would need to understand that an outcome of an effort is just an outcome. It doesn’t reflect on her as a person. Dr Wayne Dyer, an American self-help author and a motivational speaker, once very rightly said:

We’re not what we do. Else, we’d be called ‘human doings’, not ‘human beings’.”

Moreover, recognizing the role of critical parenting in shaping sensitivity to criticism underscores the importance of creating nurturing and supportive environments for children to thrive. By fostering a culture of encouragement and constructive feedback, parents  can help prevent the development of deep-seated insecurities that plague so many individuals in adulthood.

Handwriting correction

“An easier way to deal with sensitivity to criticism is through certain changes in handwriting prescribed within the limits of graphotherapy, which can also be beneficial.” All you need to do is close the loop by practising it in a way suggested by a graphologist.

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Retracing the stems of letter d and t is an easier way to deal with sensitivity to criticism

Final words

In conclusion, Sonia’s story highlights the impact of handwriting on sensitivity to criticism. Handwriting analysis reveals connections between handwriting features and psychological traits like sensitivity to criticism. Graphotherapy offers a solution through prescribed exercises.

By practicing these exercises, individuals like Sonia can reframe their responses to criticism, fostering resilience and self-acceptance. With targeted interventions, handwriting becomes a tool for personal growth, empowering individuals to navigate life’s challenges with confidence. Through awareness and practice, sensitivity to criticism transforms from a hindrance into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Disclaimer: One element of handwriting may be analysed at a time, but always look at the entire handwriting sample before arriving at any conclusion.