Do you hold yourself back fearing you will be rejected and snubbed?


‘No’ is a scary word. Nobody wants to take it for an answer. But no one has ever escaped it — they want it or not. Some get a ‘no’ and move on, accepting it as a part of life. But for many, it’s anathema; they prefer to avoid all who are likely to say the bitter word.

In other words, some people abhor disapproval. Therefore, they desist from making efforts to ask for even things they badly want because of the fear that their request will be denied.

My ex-colleague Aakaar was one of them. He liked a girl in our office but could never ask her out because he thought she would refuse.

He feared that if she did not agree to see him and others got to know about his “rejection”, his reputation would be “harmed” and he would be “ridiculed”. The fear of rejection and subsequent “loss of reputation” tormented him.

A self-conscious girl

Besides, Aakaar could never convince himself that others had really better things to do than finding out how many women he was hitting on or whether he was gay. Therefore, he chose an easier way: he chickened out. He could never muster the courage to go the girl and say he liked her.

According to my information, the girl liked him too and she waited for him for a few months to take the initiative. When he didn’t, she began seeing another guy.

When I looked at Aakaar’s handwriting, I discovered he was too self-conscious, shown by the increasing height of m and n humps. The handwriting strokes suggested that he was scared of looking foolish.

Letter M - Self consciousness in handwriting

Incidentally, the rising humps in the two letters also point to the stage fright. If you stammer while speaking in public, you could pin the blame on your self-consciousness, a strange feeling which drowns you with fear of “looking stupid”.

According to graphologists, this is one of biggest self-limiting personality traits. It stunts the mental growth of the writer.

The problem of self-consciousness is compounded if the writer’s signature is small and has a loop in the stem of the letter d.

A small signature shows the writer is filled with feelings of inadequacy, and he lacks confidence to accomplish anything. According to psychology, low self-esteem emanates from the self-limiting beliefs one has about oneself.

On the other hand, the loop in the d-stem makes him sensitive and touchy, which forces the writer to stay within a shell and become quiet and subdued.

The solution is simple: reduce the size of humps and moderately increase the size of your signature in order to feel more comfortable in crowd.

But there is a caveat: you ought to be careful while enlarging the signature size. It should not become very large. For more, read our articles on Signature Analysis.

Now, back to letters m and n. If the two letters with rising humps are coupled with a certain left or straight slant in someone’s handwriting, the writer’s fear of rejection intensifies. If the slant of handwriting is left, it causes the writer to become withdrawn.

This self-limiting personality trait interferes with the writer’s other areas of life as well. For example, at workplace, such a writer would hate to approach his boss for an extra day off because he thinks his request would be turned down. He then resorts to keeping himself absent under some pretexts, such as, “I can’t come today; I am unwell”.

Before I wind up this section, a quick note to my boss: The last time I didn’t come to work, I was indeed down with cold.