She looked the same that day. Battered. Bruises on her face. Swollen lips. It was clear what had happened the previous night.
“Did he hit you again?” I asked my friend, a 30-year-old housewife.
“Yes. Last night,” she said.
“I don’t want to talk about it…”
“Come on… tell me. What happened last night?” I said, showing concern.
She gave me a detailed account of what transpired between her and her husband of six years. I will sum it up for you.
Shortly after her wedding, my friend’s married life had been on the rocks. Over time, the sex between the couple had became more one-sided. He ruled their bedroom life. He decided when he wanted it and how he wanted it. The macho man even got rough with her, often in front of their four-year-old child.
My friend told me he had begun hurting her at other times as well. If he got annoyed about something, he twisted her arms behind her back, pulled her hair, or bent her fingers back, once so badly that she couldn’t close her fist for a few days.
And these incidents of abuse kept on happening for a very long time before she decided enough was enough, and walked out of the marriage.
Earlier this week, I was reminded of that meeting with my friend two years ago when I bumped into an interesting news report on domestic violence in India. The UN report highlighted the prevalence of intimate partner abuse.
The report said six of 10 men in India have acted violently against their wives or partners at some point of time, with those facing economic woes more likely to perpetrate violence.
According to the UN study, about 52% of the women surveyed reported they had experienced some form of violence, with 38% suffering physical violence, including being kicked, beaten, slapped, choked and burned.
“Men who did exert control through violence were diverse in age, educational status, place of residence and caste status. Educated men and women who were 35 years old or more were less likely to perpetrate or experience violence,” the study said.
The study is based on interviews of 9,205 men and 3,158 women, aged 18-49 across Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan, Punjab, Haryana, Odisha, Madhya Pradesh and Maharashtra.
The study titled ‘Masculinity, Intimate Partner Violence and Son Preference in India’ by the United Nations Population Fund and Washington-based International Centre for Research on Women puts a spotlight on the high prevalence of intimate partner violence and son preference in India.
If men with discriminatory gender views are more inclined to physically abusing their partner, then they are also the ones more likely to want sons, the UN report points out.
As an Indian, it saddens me to hear that most men of my country do not respect women. And though our heads hang in shame knowing we live among such people, it cannot be denied that the study does reflect the sad state of most marital relationships in India. After all, doesn’t each of us know many men who assault their wives/partners?
People with violent tendencies are temperamental and aggressive. In handwriting analysis, there are two key strokes that indicate that the writer is aggressive and has a temper.
Let’s first talk about aggression. Aggression, according to psychology, refers to a range of behaviour that can result in both physical and psychological harm to oneself, other or objects in the environment. This person unnecessarily resorts to violence and delivers something unpleasant to another person.
Aggression in handwriting is shown by hard right upstroke that replaces a lower loop. In the handwriting sample below, the loop in the letters y and g unusually turn to the right, making an angular bottom. If this stroke is found frequently in a handwriting sample, it is a clear red flag.
The second trait is temper. In the handwriting sample above, notice the flying t-bars predominantly on the right side of the stem. According to handwriting analysis, if there are just two or three instances of flying t-bars in a handwriting sample, it is normal. The more it occurs, the faster such writers will lose control over their emotions.
If you know someone with these two strokes in their handwriting, you should avoid them. If you cannot get rid of them, you may do yourself good by being a bit careful. If possible, you must suggest that they correct their handwriting in two steps: remove the angularity in the two lower zone letters (y & g) and place t-bars evenly on t-stems.
That removal of these two dreadful handwriting strokes may not totally rid the writer of aggression and temper, but it will help him immensely.
You should keep in mind that for the purpose of this article, we have picked out only two handwriting strokes that point to the violent streak of the writer. There are many others, such as resentment and club strokes. (To learn more about various other handwriting strokes, get a home-study course in Handwriting Analysis.)
An interesting point about the study on Indian men is that its findings unequivocally link their aggressive behaviour with some childhood experiences. “It is high time we begin to seriously think how we wish to bring up our boys and also present ourselves as adults to younger ones within the families,” the report says.
In fact, even handwriting analysts are of the opinion that the childhood of a person plays an important role in determining what kind of a personality he will have. For example, children who face brutality and cruelty may grow up to be inhibited individuals who write with a left slant.
Incidentally, the crucial observations made in the report about how boys need to be brought up find relevance in Vinil Mathew’s short film, Start With The Boys, starring Madhuri Dixit.
Watch the short film below and remember to share with us your views and experiences in the comment section.